i'm hungry. are you?

the cheery good times

the uv rays on my skin, the frequently salt water in my eyes, the multiple abrasions on my ass, the constant contraction of my back.

the focus and drive in memorising and understanding the equations and definitions on my lecture notes, the momentary mental blocks at night

basically, these not so good things, are actually quite satisfying, knowing that at the end of things, i actually felt good, and doing it too felt good.

now where has that gone to?

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it's 9.45 now on my desktop clock. whatever it is, i'm not feeling good about myself again. and it seems i'm only a pawn in the ruthless world outside my four walls. and the only solace is keeping myself away from myself.

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boy, do i like mellowing down the neighbourhood pub just listening to good ole tunes on an acoustic guitar that never fails to lift my heart, even when i'm alone. it seems to inject this certain sense of nostalgia which i deem unable to fathom. it's good to drift back into mellow mode. and i'm feeling contented about it. cause it's only a short walk, and i get a full view of happy people with their company and drinks, just singing along like children singing coherently to a nursery rhyme. and just sitting there makes me know, as close as i am being alone, i am actually with company. and i don't have to talk, they don't know me, and i'm drowned into my own thoughts whereby no one can discriminate or share my joy with. which makes me indestructable.

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coolios to myself, because over the years, i've learnt humility to know that the world does not revolve around me. i am still learning, and i don't want that to stop. i can say, i wear my heart on my sleeve and i really don't want to do bastard things even if it makes me happy. and i think that's one thing no one can take away from me.

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now i'm gonna be thinking very rationally over some issues that matter hugely to me. it's gonna affect my future and prospects of me doing what i want to do. so keep your handphones on guys.. cause you never know, i might just call YOU for your priceless opinions that may or may not affect my decision, but it'll definitely be worth something.

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tis the season to be jolly, let them good times roll

posted by jonathan @ 9:38 AM