so i'm back from training camp. tired i must say. but i guess i feel good abt even surviving it. the 1st day was hardcore. training started at 915 - 12+.. and all we did was run and static... and balls... it almsot took the very existense out of me. but i shall just keep a hush hush abt it. i'm in no position to release our team's training routine. all i can say is that, i feel conditioned and well... the team has come a long we. i'm proud we pulled through
so i just came back from a movie with gerard and his freshies. 8 and below.
[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v664/jonjung/8belowposterbig.jpg[/IMG]
and, it's not worth my 9.50 which i'm trying so hard not to spend. yes my friends... i did not like the movie.. especially when in the mood where i'm tired from camp and really need something to perk me up. not make me emo!
so then it was off back home with gerard. and we spent time talking abt my life.. and it really struck me that -
i'm not all that contented with me life. yeah i'm always busy doing things i love to do. dragonboating, skating, studying to get good grades, and spending time with friends. but i really do feel there's something missing. something so important, that i do not realize. could it be God? could it be a special someone? as in, yeah, i will not complain abt the fact that i'm occupied most of the time, but ill be fussy abt the fact that there are more important things out there that i'm missing out on. 1 such example, family. so as such, if i give up any of the few priorities ive stated up there, i would feel miserable! it's like, ill never feel contented with life no matter which path i take!? and it saddens me.
what's worst is who can i really turn to when such 'problems' run in my head. i dont turn to bertram anymore, neither to vivian, the 2 most influencial people in my life who have faded away. rather i turn to gerard. dont get me wrong, he is great guy! he does give constructive advice that i do take positively. but its just that sometimes id like a person of the opposite sex to hear me out. and right now, there not really a viable canidate who's able to uphold this task. yes again i'm saddened.
my swearing is also getting worse. who'd ever think from the time i entered poly, that id be at such a stage now. its like every sentense i burt out has a vulgarity of all sorts, all languages. bad influence? i guess... i need to change that.
on a brighter note.. i'm quite into sean paul right now!
posted by jonathan @ 1:21 AM
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