i'm hungry. are you?

!

off the wall

in a state of moodyness and of course frustration, i just woke up from my little afternoon, or rather evening nap, trusting that the one to wake me up would be my older brother, chris. well fuck that, he didnt, my mom did. besides that, as i was already in a world of laziness and where if a little electric shock were to jolt through me, id become green and big and harness enough strength to fuck the electrical force with my bare hands. so i knew my brother had to leave for camp at 8, not my bother, cause if i knew better id have prepared myself in the afternoon already. so well chris being chris panicked while i was in my sweet state of rest, hence, banging, slamming everything while to pack his bag, fucker woke up. well i didnt really sit up, he just made such a big fuss that my mind woke up not my legs. so then i thought, maybe this could be a test, a test to see if he would wake me up, after all i did ask him to. wrong i was!

now u see, yeah, it may seem very trivial that i'm complaining abt this time, especially when many know that i love my brother, and yeah he does have flaws! but because i'm in such a weary state right now, i cannot bear but to type an entry based on the fact that, as much as a loving brother he is, he can be a dumb fuck as he could possibly be!

so put it this way, i never really asked him to go out of his way to help me do something, cause most of the time ill try to get things done myself. and for him, ive gone down to his camp which is like in the middle of nowhere were a cab from my house to his camp and back would cost 30 fucking dollars. not once, but twice to deliver his forgotten goods else he be punished. aside from that, ive covered his ass so severely infront my entire family saying that his actions are just based on the fact that he's just cant adapt to us cause he's been away for so long, 5 years in canada and suddenly back and away to NS for 2 years. hence he doesnt know how we work.

so aside from all that ass kissing, a simple wake up call would be widely appreciated. but no, that didnt come. and following that, dinner could not have been so 'entertaining'. my mind is already filled with rage, and half the time my mom was judging, commenting, complaining about the food that she and dillon cooked, aside from that, elise joined us for dinner, and because i was so easily ticked off, i didnt enjoy a company of an outsider. so put that aside, i bit the bullet and bared through. then it was till the end of dinner when my younger brother, tim and dillon commented that my brother was very old fashion, due to the fact he's in a white shirt and black pants, very formal. fuck that! he's made to be in the attire so dont complain la! but i was in no position to cover him, so i sat there adding to my pile of anguish. continuing, as i was trying to enjoy my pineapple rice, my brother bursts in to ask me for help again, this time, to send an invitation to my dad.

last straw. in a calm and effort filled manner, i told him, i'm not going to do it! i mean shit la! i'm already in such a mess, ive got common tests, and u want me to go down my my father's turf who i'd have a ball of a time being an arsonist and burn it down. like the hell! chris of all people should know how much i hate dad cause of his actions that just put my life to shame! if it were not for dad, id probably be a happier person and would know how and believe how a perfect family worked. and chris is asking me to go down to his office to pass him an invitation to his passing out parade that i'm going to as well!? he's just planting a bomb in his pocket! me, my mom and dad in the same place!? how much a dream does he want to dream!? has it been made clear that my mom does not want to see him. and old chinese woman being them, would rather kill themselves than to see someone they hate!? i mean, i'm totally fine. i'm just worried for mom. she's going based on the fact that dad is not going. and now i find out he's going? balls man.

and yet again on this night before my commontest ive lost my motivation! fucker of hell.

posted by jonathan @ 7:29 PM