i'm hungry. are you?

hello

something is terribly wrong with my body. i know i'm sick and it's long term. my body is permanently damaged. i woke up to a fever this morning that had dragged from thursday. now it's 4.40am, and i'm in desperate need of sleep and rest so to prepare myself for what is to come on this sat morning and afternoon. sea rowing. but fuck. everything's in a mess. the fact that i'm actually awake at such odd hours is very frightening. i was sick through out the day. i had work and i even went out to join the boys for a little emo out session and only got back till 2. needless to say, i quicken my pace to try to get myself to bed by 2.30. and so i did. but as i layed in my normally comfortable bed, i found myself stairing blankly into the almost pitch black wall. my heart was pumping furiously almost like i'm constantly having a heart attack. i closed my eyes hoping it would get me to sleep. nil, it did not work. i tried again numerous times.. to no avail. i went to the kitchen to get some warm milk, knowing it would work because of all the articles ive been reading abt how it contains hormones that causes a person to fall asleep. no, my heart still jumps like a drum in a rock band. i tried readign a book hoping that the contents will bore me to death such that i could sleep. no. nothing worked. even as i sit down here in front of my laptop, listening to the emo-est of songs, it seems that the beats are not as slow as usual. it's almost rushing. it is scaring me. i'm saying the slowest, the most boring of songs are not sounding like fast paced, rushing music, the sort u would find in fight scenes of movies. i'm almost a biological time bomb waiting to burst. i'm only going to get less than 6 hrs of sleep again. and i'm so sure ill die tmr. help me please!

Oh Lord please help me on this terrible morning.

posted by jonathan @ 4:42 AM