i couldnt agree more to mark's post. common tests and dejavus. its all too familiar and to think ive got abt 7 more of this seasons to go through(if i do make it through without retaining), just makes me think about how ill live through my poly life unharmed, unscarred and undead. already i'm feeling, i'm studying ever harder than i did in secondary school. more like, in my entire life, ive only put in so much effort into understanding and memorising school work, during my olevels and most suprisingly during my entire poly life. it's even heartaching to know that by this exercise, i'm actually maturing. which then forces me to sense a deep dissappointment that i'm actually begining to be an adult, and i can no longer have as much fun as i had during my lived and past life. already i'm not skating as much as i hoped. soccer dates are always being postponed cause everyone's growing up and having more responsibility.
then again, i should really appreciate what i have now. i mean, i'm already at the prime of my life. i'm 18, i'm legal, i'm young, i'm free, i'm independent (ibelieve). i'm enjoying dragonboat, i'm enjoying what i'm studying. i think i'm living a very fulfilling and, well, a life worth living for. though i am dissappointed with what ive lost, or loosing, my activities i'm into right now, make up for the loss. i'm not spoilt, dont get me wrong. in fact, ive learnt to enjoy the surprises that life has to bring. the simplest of living. the basic essence of euphoria. realizing that other people have it worse than me. i should enjoy what i have now.
i guess that's what most people lack these days. a sense of gratitude to what life has brought. what God so greatly created, for our 5 senses to enjoy. and we've been blinded by materialism so badly that we lack the fundamentals of enjoying what is actually infront of us. people. friends. family. company. should we then sigh to a lost of a loved one, to cry, to lament on the fact that that person was once loved and now is gone? would it be fair to say that it is hypocritical to do so? to say 'i should have spent more time with him/her while i could'? its almost like a blanket people put over their head. in the 1st place, that person was always infront of you, and it was you who failed before it was too late. failing to enjoy his/her company, to learn his/her traits of life. to hear a legacy. and for me, i think it's these lessons we learn from people that we finally realize how precious life is, and even how to live a life worth living, for the better. learning from people's past experiences, whether bad or good.
love and learn as much as u can. always love.
i maybe a hypocrite writing this, but i'm only human.
broken and used
posted by jonathan @ 6:25 PM
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