i'm extremely tired with all that bullshit.
and i do not think it'll stop.
so feed me that bullshit.
and make yourselves smile.
bitches and theives.
i'm not that easy to take down.
you might as well load a gun.
the sublime truth will take me out.
holaschool's started, and i'm already feeling so much pressure from everything.
so lets list the things that are bothering me at the present moment
-npdb
-regatta
-npdb year2s
-my spiritual life
-my 3+ gpa
-ever so ridiculous, my birthday
-skateparty
-work
-divorce
-the notes ive not printed
-my timetable
in no order. i find myself in deep thought or sleeping, when i'm idle... it's no wonder i'm kept up till 2 at night every night thinking. and most of the time, just preventing feminism to sneak up on me to cry. ive still got my ego. and dee did say, i dont smile. well i guess ive got too much on my mind to even think about contracting the few million muscle cells in my cheeks to put that frown who often people comment positively on.
to add to all that bullshit, the haze makes the days so much more gloomy.
and if that doesnt make life any more worse, my ipod is fucking cracking up.
my lecturer's and lectures are quite cool though.
but fuck the rest of the things
drop it like it's hot
'i'm back from training camp. and i must say, it was a great camp, with the fair share of highs and lows. the team had a hammering on the 1st day with alot of running the haze and well, the rest of the afternoon was spent with ming kai, scavenging holland v for the rest of the stuff that we forgot to buy or get for the games in sentosa the next day. sentosa was great and well as a planner along with the competence and also devoted time by cheryl, chen loon and ming kai, i think that day couldnt have been any better.. well maybe without the haze. alot of underwear tearing, alot of laughs, alot of fun. it was a success from how i see it. but i hope the rest did enjoy as well.
aside from that, the bad came from the terrible sea rowing the guys had. but i'm not looking down, i'm looking forward for the next training to improve.
the other day i was talking to sher abt skate party again. and well, i think, ive made my mark, and it's time to move on. it sounds pretty cliche, but i was tired of putting up with being the 'outcast' by some and the 'special' treatment by the guys. yeah, it may seem ive lost some friends in the process, and yeah, it is saddening, but unfortunately it is not for some. i wish them all the best, and i hope the understand the path i choose, though i doubt they will.
i'm currently craving for some good homecooked carbos and protein, cause i'm sich of having to chow down packed food. aside from that, wisdom teeth is killing me. BARK
epoca
italicstoday, is the 1st day of my hols, that i am able to actually sit down, and have time just for myself. well almost. i spent the 1st half in school gyming and then buying stuff for training camp. but other than then, i am not capable of taking a breather, and dwell into deeper thoughts.
for a quick update, sava was almost a mess, and i hope that the team would work harder, and i would work harder. i've just recieved my time table for the next sem, and i'm sad to say, time aint on my side. how dissappointing. 8 or 9 to start, 4 or 5 to finish. SHAG. oh well, only means less time for things that i really would like to do. not that it really matters. i feel it's all worth it. i like what i'm doing. biotechnology, i never regretted =). and dragonboating, ive got something to prove.
that aside, it's 40 days till regatta, and i'm really banking on a win. a real win. PLEASEEEE!
i need some solace. ciao
40
