dragso sleep it off, and welcome the new day
i woke up to stiff ass neck and the spark that was once yesterday has become an engulfing inferno that should have over taken hiroshima if i were still alive.
as much time passes, and i continue to think through my train thoughts, i will not disagree to the fact that ive failed many times, and yes i am to blame. but i will not also allow the vindication that they too were to be blamed for this treachery. so yeah, call me ego-istic. call me stubborn. but dont say that i'm not right to feel the way i'm feeling.
home feels so much more better, where being alone feels so much like being with a long lost friend.
for a lonely soul, you're having such a nice time. and yes, i admit i am. to have the company of serenity and senenary.
insult me. but never insult what i do.
googles
it didnt helpso that was it.
ill except the blame for whatever that i may have caused.
so fuck my life up, cause you dont really care.
you've said you've tried, i say you're empty.
did it really happen!? did it!? ever since mr usa came back, was my presence ever important anymore. did you really try sitting me down to talk abt my problems. so fuck that. half the fucking time you all were throwing insults at me. so fuck u all for calling me emo! just because i dont do anything to fight back at you all, doesnt mean shit?! fuck u all again! sit in my position for one moment and at least 'embrace' the times i have to go through. you think it's all that fun!? count me the times that anyone of u actually had a decent talk with me. ill clock it up to less than the 10 fingers on my hands. yeah so blame me for being childish, cause i dont open up. fuck u all again, you guys didnt give me the chance. just as i was at the peak of my life, it didnt seem that u guys really cared less, always into your own little worlds, enjoying your moment of merry. you know what, i dont blame you for all these shit. cause i put myself where i am today. but i dont see how i lost out anymore. to think of you guys as friends? really!? i examine this thought every single night. i always gave my and 110% when the chance arose. and the only time id bail, was when i had too much of my own joy. so yeah! blame me! i'm the disease! cause yeah, i wont disagree. and yeah, so it took another person to tell u how a feel, but to only leave me out for everything else. yeah great! really appreciate it, cause it made me a better fool that i was before! your actions were so great! but dont call a person to befriend, cause now i know what friends are for. no, really!
i wish you all the best, if it really mattered to you all most.
cause as much as u've given up on my immature soul, i hope you older people enjoy the life you have ahead. while i dwell into my own jail of thoughts. thanks for being there fools.
bitches and thieves
and you can tell everybody,
this is your song.
it may be quite simple,
now that it's done.
i hope you dont mind
that i put down in words
how wonderful life is,
with you on this world
tumble and fallso i so HAPPENED to STUMBLE upon a thought that i see it relavent enought to post. well not actually a thought, rather more of a philosphical pardon which as been bugging me, more like, growing in me:
the reason of hiding one's emotion. why should one be put to crucifiction that the feelings on their heart should be put up on a cardboard for the rest of the world to see, and especially to the "comrad" that had cause damage. would it be childish? or would it be brave? i'd opt for bravery. because of honesty. honest's the best policy. but considering circumstances, would keeping it in and letting it blow over be an act of bravery as well. id concur. because emotion did not take over. rather a strong heart pulled out of the latter.
i could rant somemore. but i realise i have to stop. cause i need to study. STUDY!!??? hmmmm
2cents
radio killed the video star'ive got more chix than kentucky!'
so the weekend was spent indulging myself in the horrifying arena of kiasu singaporeans and snobbish stars. i wouldnt consider it an indulgence actually, for the fact than i spent more than 12 hrs each day during the weekend, i would rather spend studying, standing, walking and feeding myself to the likes of heavy labour. carrying props up and down the stage. so what exactly did i do? i was a backstage crew for starhub's 3 year anniversary roadshow.
or whatever it was abt. i had $$$ on my mind, not what i was doing it for. if any of u could actually see what i saw. how the horrors of singaporeans and their mentallity to grab every bit of freebie there was on the floor. it was horrid! u could have seen the same person come on stage to participate in any of the contests 3 times in a single day for both days. i was almost astonished to see some of our proud singaporeans actually camping outside the convention halls of suntec before the doors even open and while we were busy setting the day up. i hear from my other counterparts(slaves) also who were my teammates that some of these people who call themselves selfless singaporeans, actually bother to queue up to a line that had almost gone out the the hall to just kick a ball to get a free pen, and after their turn, they would go back to the back of the queue to try again. what's with the world?
so besides that i did get some MONAY out of it. so i shouldnt be complaining.
a pic of one of my cellculture experiments i was taught to do. what u see my friends, is a cut up mice, to have it's spleen extracted. whatever it was to be after this little surgery, went into the bin.
i'm not a murderer, just see it as a step for me to find the cure for aids and be rich and buy all of u a little piece of the bahamas that i would own in the future.
project nutz was the other day. and i must say, we did do well. i'm proud of the team! =)
so well my very much deluded friends. ive been getting loads of feedback that i'm attached. let me make this clear, that I AM NOT in a relationship. and i'm happily single. so stop bugging me.
anyway, got to go back to studying for tests and exams that i'm not panicking about. which worries me. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
neegggrrrooo out
