i'm hungry. are you?: May 2006

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

LIGHTS OUT! TURN OF THE RADIO! TURN THAT SHIT OFF!

hahah i'm in deep shit i tell u. ive only completed half of every module's requirement and cts are less than 7 days away. hee haw!

Monday, May 29, 2006

i slept really early last night, hoping that i would have enough rest to last me today, for i ventured into the deep and morbid space of my mugging. with much anticipation and expectation, i didnt realize that i forgot to set my trusty v3i's alarm, hence i woke up 10 mins before class. so i thought, shit, i'm late, but! i had ample rest. how ironic. without furthur due, i rushed my ass down with a prepared mind that today would be a good day to pay attention in class and my 4 hrs of lecture so that i can absorb everything and still revise after school. BOY WAS I WRONG! i slept through ABC lecture and half of ACMB. now if 8 hrs is enough rest for an average human, then boy am i a sloth! i still had to DRAG myself to the library to make sure i studied. and studied i did with charissa and chen loon. i guess it was quite good a session considering i'm quite confident with ABC now. or at least the first 3 chapters.

so now i'm at home, and i should be studying another 2 hrs so to meet up to my self proclaimed quota of 4 hrs a day 3 chapters a module regime, but ive totally lost the motivation and youtube is far more enticising. there's the devil in my laptop i tell u! the devil!

12 more days to world cup! c'mon italy!!! C'MON!!!!

green eyes. you're a spotlight. shining so bright

Sunday, May 28, 2006

i'm ready

first of all, my greatest thanks to all who have been so kind to keep me on check on my health. i'm fine now. i'm down to a 36.2 and i'm able to go about my normal routine. =). though, many still call me crazy for going for training. i understand where they're coming from, and it's one of these very very rare events where i cannot answer for my actions, sincere apologies.

anyway, i'm kinda geared up for this coming week now.. gonna start the mugging, and it's gonna be quite hardcore i presume. i hope i make it out alive. to think ive not really paid close attention in class since day one, gets me wondering whether my intelligence which people have been so in 'aw' about will save my ass this time. i call this a test. a test to see if i really am some sort of divine creature. a creature that has a brain, just that he doesnt use it. and hence, if it is true that i am indeed intelligent from what my parents, my brothers, my sister and almost all my friends say, then i shall have a GPA of 4 by just studying 4 core modules in 1 week. if i succeed, mannnnn that would be cool, and ill treat everyone to 1 mars bar each! yes. 1 mars bar. notice how tight a budget i'm on? well get over it! too many have commented on how retardedly 'smart' i am. but if i fail... i shall paste my results on my wall and let everyone know, i'm a false messiah and the rest of the world should stop lying to me abt how smart but lazy i am.

aside from that. ive yet to watch xmen 3 which has been out for over 5 days now, and.. i'm starting to get desperate....

Saturday, May 27, 2006

hello

something is terribly wrong with my body. i know i'm sick and it's long term. my body is permanently damaged. i woke up to a fever this morning that had dragged from thursday. now it's 4.40am, and i'm in desperate need of sleep and rest so to prepare myself for what is to come on this sat morning and afternoon. sea rowing. but fuck. everything's in a mess. the fact that i'm actually awake at such odd hours is very frightening. i was sick through out the day. i had work and i even went out to join the boys for a little emo out session and only got back till 2. needless to say, i quicken my pace to try to get myself to bed by 2.30. and so i did. but as i layed in my normally comfortable bed, i found myself stairing blankly into the almost pitch black wall. my heart was pumping furiously almost like i'm constantly having a heart attack. i closed my eyes hoping it would get me to sleep. nil, it did not work. i tried again numerous times.. to no avail. i went to the kitchen to get some warm milk, knowing it would work because of all the articles ive been reading abt how it contains hormones that causes a person to fall asleep. no, my heart still jumps like a drum in a rock band. i tried readign a book hoping that the contents will bore me to death such that i could sleep. no. nothing worked. even as i sit down here in front of my laptop, listening to the emo-est of songs, it seems that the beats are not as slow as usual. it's almost rushing. it is scaring me. i'm saying the slowest, the most boring of songs are not sounding like fast paced, rushing music, the sort u would find in fight scenes of movies. i'm almost a biological time bomb waiting to burst. i'm only going to get less than 6 hrs of sleep again. and i'm so sure ill die tmr. help me please!

Oh Lord please help me on this terrible morning.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

sit on a train, reading a book, same old planet wherever i look

it's a thursday night where normally i would have spent my time pool rowing and enjoying a good night out with the supermens from db. yeah well i was 5 mins away from pursuing the company i've enjoyed for almost a year + in ngee ann. u see, i really wanted row. i really did! i did go for training, dont get me wrong. i ran the campus with the freshies. i did push ups. but just as i finished with statics, my oh so dying body cried out. i needed to stop. why u might ask. well as tipsy and in pain my head was, i dragged my body, tried to keep my chin up and proceeded to the toilet with my instant ear themometer which i have not used in nearly 2 years. i placed it into the orifice beside my head where few dare to venture. with as much strength i had left on my right hand. i pressed the button that will tell me whether i was going to continue with the wonder journey that i've yet to finish on this special thursday evening. fuck. 39.9degrees. i was heading for a cerebrial break down. so then i headed out. to find ah huat pushing me to go home instead of the normal scolding where my arms are bending during rowing.

i called home hoping that porridge would still be to avail. hoping that a little company at home will get rid of this pain that is grasping on my head. yet again. none was present, to my surprise. mommy has gone to watch a movie with dillon, which was extremely out of the blue cause ive not heard of mom going to the movies in almost 3 years. so to avoid ruining her night out, i forgone the plan of dailing her mobile, rather to drag myself home again.

i want to get better. i want to row =(. help me please!

would you be interested?

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

the goat infront of me won

so it's 1135pm now. ive got a class at 8. so that means i'm going to have less than 8 hrs of sleep which my 'crying out loud' body so craves for. apart from that, class ends at 4 and ive got work. i've not started studying for the cts which are less than 2 weeks away. and to add.. i'm still so hyped up on rowing. so unless anyone has some miracle water of some sort to wake me up from this very illusive dream. please contact me asap. money is appreciated.

Monday, May 22, 2006

so well..

so well, ive not been blogging, and it's only because of a few reasons.

1. i've seriously found something better to do.. which is train till i'm dead tired to even think back of the wonderful adventures i've been through the past days

2. i'm suppose to be posting up pictures of dnd and the night out with the guys at pontini which ive yet to recieve.

3. i think i ran over a lamb when i was running so fast that the guilt has brought put in under so much pressure that i've decided to brood over it than to blog.

so till i get over all these reasons, tune in soon to continue the quest with jon and the mystical adventures

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Sing For Absolution

i cannot fathom why ive got so many thoughts running through this head of mine, and yet cant focus on just one thought to blog out. its crazy. ive typed an entire entry 3 bloody times and yet managed to delete them all. just because i'm not satisfied.

i realize ive been a total whore lately. no, not that ive been screwing ard. but i cant find another word that can describe the sort of person i was this week. ive been pissed at the littlest of things. from stepping on a plastic sheet accidentally at school which no one would have noticed, to just going balistic at the fact i have to ask the same question twice at charissa and still not given a reply. something has terribly gone wrong with me. but there are somethings that really pushed me to the limit. and i shant go into that, cause i should really try to express happy thoughts. happy juice?

anyway, besides the scary running the team was doing yesterday for training that almost made me pass out, another highlight, probably has to be zouking with miss yoong and her secondary school friends. geraldine, tabitha and ramesh. great bunch of people. a first time for all of them except me and miss isabel yoong herself. but i have to comment on the futality of going down to zouk so early at night on a thursday. it's almost like a different world from wednesday nights. the place is almsot guy infested and the music was such a bitch. its only during the last, maybe 3 hours, of the extravaganza that the music started to improve and the crowd started to be jolly good. nevertheless, i hope they enjoyed themselves.

i'm scrapping the idea of getting a bike license, due to the fact that jason aint gonna get it with me anymore, and there have been a reasonable amount of deaths on the road to make me jump and wonder how the world might react to my extinction. they're probably jump for joy. hence, i shall be a slut and live on to irritate the fuck out of everyone. so then, it's back to driving a BMW M5 in the very very very near future. how abhorrent.

27 more days to world cup baby. get ready for the melt down!

dnd is tomorrow! and i'm not exactly excited. but what the heck. i enjoy scc's company! but its gona be quite sad i might not be able to adhere with them long enough for the after party... but for glory, i go! for npdb!

the subtleties. those that i want to scream out loud.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

off the wall

yet again, i find myself sitting here pointless as the time i shaved my eye brows when i was primary 3. its another one of those days where there's really nothing to do!

school has been great i guess, i managed to get full marks for 2 quizzes that i never did study for. but i mean, i could thank 'cheating' for it as well. but i didnt do it deliberatly! everyone just told me the answers before hand when i didnt even ask! i could have not listened, but how do u get 'ABCD is the first 4 answers' out of your head!?! but aside from that, ive yet to remember all 20 amino acids and their structures, which actually scares me, cause i know its really important. oh well. its not like i'm really having trouble understanding my topics. i'm doing good...

so training yesterday was a knock out. i could say i did give my 110% and have no regrets! but it was still bad cause everyone was in a mess. the fire wasnt there. and we were just ineffective together as a team. oh well.. its a team sport, not an individual race. i still feel sad. my hands are now full of corns.. or whatever u call them. cause i held on to my paddle so tightly. i hope the fire is reignited soon. we need the comeback. we want the medals. i want the spot in the boat.

after which i made way to work, which was a mistake. fatigue and the headache was all that left when i left. i had even the least bit of rest after that. sleeping at abt 2+ and waking up for church. oh man... church was so ineffective as well.. its like i went there to sleep. oh well...

world cup is coming... LATE NIGHTS AND FRIENDS BABY!!!

7 weeks more, 7 weeks more.

Sit on a train, reading a book
Same damn planet every time i look
Try to relax and slow my heartbeat
Only works when i'm dead asleep
Been thinking and drinking all over the town
Must be gearing up for some kind of melt-down
All i am is a body floating down-wind
What's wrong?
Nothing
Are you sure nothing's wrong?
Yeah
But you're sad about something
Yeah
So tell me what
I don't know
I can't tell you
All i am is a body floating down-wind
As the express train passes the local
It moves by just like a paper boat
Although it weighs a million pounds
I swear it almost seems to float
And as we pass by each other
Our heads all full of bother
We can't look, we can't stop
We can't think, we can't stop
Because we're stuck in our own paths
And it's the way it always lasts
But i need something more from you

nada surf - paper boat

Monday, May 01, 2006

turn smile shift repeat

i have to relief some of the stress that i hold inside again.

its just one of those things where u just cant get it off your chest. its one of those things that u want so badly, but cant bear to put your arms around it. no i'm not talking abt things that are materialistic. it just keeps me wondering : what if? what if i had her. would life be so much more better? would i be happier? would be it forever? where only the undercertainties barracades me from what i want. and what if i get it, what happens after that? i so desperately want something out of it. but yet again i dont, cause i'm enjoying what i have already, and i dont want to change that for something which outcome is uncertain, which present is a vivid mask that haunts me each minute of the day, that forces me to go crazy, in a stalking mode, so servere that it has become addictive and scary. time was only so short that we've known each other - am i expecting too much, for i'm a sucker of love?

this is fucking ridiculous. because i'm staying away so that i dont do anything stupid. forgive my insecurities.

the monday blues

today was extremely uneventful. in fact, i'm so dissappointed with today that it almost killed me. and even if i did go out, which i did... it just wasnt my cup of tea i guess. i wanted to just hang out with the db guys for a movie. but we ended up gaming. and i wasnt really prepared for it. nevertheless it was a good 1 hr spent aside from the 24 i have been recieving. the constant teasing the guys were putting me through also a turn off! ah bullocks.

aside from that, coldplay is coming to singapore! and that's gonna be so rad!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES!!!!! i'm gonna get them tickets!!!

went drinking last night with the SSC people. it was a good night, considering we were all so emo. but we managed to cheer ourselves up with some kick ass singing. haha winston should really join sg idol.

oh well.. i really need to do tutorials but i'm super super tired.. soooooo tmr then!

i'm hungry. are you?