With a gun barrel between your teeth, you speak only in vowels.
we're on 5 days till we hit the river again. and was only 3 years ago, that fond memories still trigger in my mind. it has been a long road, and on the 3rd and 4th, it'll be the last of it. for all that has happened, and for all that will happen, i'm truely grateful for wonderful friendships and the bountiful bonds that have been forged that i would definitely share with all those close to me. it was yellow, then blue, and this year, black.
i hit you hard the other day. and boy did it feel good. i hope you get the full extent of the pain. cause as much anger i feel, i'm also very dissappointed. oh boy, this is the first of the 'up-ten-ready for charging', i hope there'll be a '2nd burst' and i know i still would have a 3rd wind of energy to give you a '3rd burst' if the race is still on. and when the race is over, and you have not submitted, i'll further demoralize you in the next race. only because no one deserves such training. it's not about how hard you hit, it's about how hard you get hit, and stand up to hit back again. and boy, the water is deep, the water is heavy, but i'll give my best as usual, because that's what i'm built to do.
oh yeah, get ready, cause anger is a good thing. and good people have to do bad things sometimes. get ready. are you ready? attention! ... (airhorn)
Did you think to kill me? There's no flesh or blood within this cloak to kill. There's only an idea. And ideas are bullet-proof.
pita colada
if i had my way, i would just make just 1 out of my 120 samples restrict with my bare hands. and i would have all my projects done back in school rather to be burdened with the local public transport system when time is always against my side.
i cant even go for training for fuck's sake.
clear holder
too many times we take for granted the chances given to us in life
too many times we take advantage of the fact that what hasnt happened in the past, will not happen in the future, like how i havent lost any of handphones i have, till one fine day, i got conned. like how in the past i'd say i'd never smoke, till now i'm chugging like a chu chu train.
but the mere existence of growing older kicks in, i've found out that many of the vices i do, is only balanced with what ever good i have in me. and i'd say that for many people to say the least. but there'll always be this minority that will have most of their lives bad, or good. where would you stand? but isnt it all subjective? how do we differentiate the good from the bad? how do we estimate the level of being good or bad?
what i do know, my enterance into poly, was by no means an accident, rather a blessing. and my peers would not beg to differ. i realize after being in this institute for close to 3 years now, has taught me the values of a person, no matter how good or bad. like how one man's meat is anothers poison. i've made friendship from all parts of the world, all kinds of people and it has taught me much. so much that it is difficult to decipher into words. that the very existence of such company from poly only warms my heart. if i had a chance to repeat this 3 years of my life, i'd say i wouldnt, cause i can say, this is as good as it can get. i love it for the good times, the bad and most of all, the amplitude of random vibes when i go to school.
doh
peng yu, u belly big.
gold
Happiness is a prison, Evey. Happiness is the most insidious prison of all. - V
the weather is full of bull, and i feel like tarting myself with some lemon.
i wonder what i will make with one hand in EtBr.
turn-tables and beat boxers
can you see through the tinted glass
can you see through the bright lights
oh yeah, school has started. and balls, race day is here.
eclipse
if confidence would come in a form of a pill, i'd take it willing it everyday. knowing that i lost something so precious that no one except myself can replace. i know i'm sick, i know i'm a rut which is so difficult to get over with. if knowing that life were so precious i would go out and live my life to the fullest. but in the most deepest cuts of my heart, i know i've lost something, someone so precious, that it seems i've lost a part of me. and like every situation in me, it was stringed together with a mighty thread that when it was lost, it took so many other things away from me.
i dare say i can never trust what my heart tells me anymore for the very fact it was the only thing that dragged me down. even so, i doubt my mind. and it has resulted in a complex multiple episodes of illusions that bring me to stare blankly at a stationary object just having nothing in mind, knowing that i can never trust myself anymore.
forgiven but not forgetten, but how will i ever find the means to forgive myself for all that i've done. the will to survive has diminished and i only wished for something to take me away from this place, maybe to a parallel universe whereby a restart button is there to be pushed so that i can live my already sophisticated life all over again.
in all honesty, i know i will take a long time to get over and let go for a restart to take place. for the wait being worth is uncertain which is the most detrimental and scary part of life.
i never knew i'd end up like this, looking back, i'd laugh at people who fall into this trap. and at present, look at where i'm in. in change, there are too many differences, like computational variables that just tumble in place, not knowing whether it would be good or bad, reject or fail to reject. how can one find him or herself at peace with such a situation. for even the value of oneself has diminished from the face of earth.
i struggle to keep up with life, for life before was a bed of roses and now it seems to be a burning hell fury of dust and ash where i seem to be a battle axe, difficult to handle, but respected. i've lost control over myself. and hope is lost. in another 4 months i'll be out of poly and where it brings me to i do not know. for i know now even a single peace of 5mins can bring me down so much deeper on the ground that i've rooted in place knowing i've been humbled.
may it be, i thank all that visited me with your grace that i may get well, and i wish i would.
Dubecco's Modified Eagles Medium
i was out with hazel today just to hang out and to find my piece of mind or solace i might assume. what i thought to be one of the usual nights of ranting and hoping for some miracle to turn back time again, ended up to be a night of constant nagging with a touch of jacking of each other like every other day in school where often times i'd leave the lecture theatre smiling from the satisfaction of not being decapitated for all the sarcastic and even so piercing remarks we both make to each other.
jon:when i die, i'd like my ashes to be placed in a petridish, with Dubecco's Modified Eagles Medium, supplemented with maybe some steriods, so that if, eventually grow in the culture, i'd be big and strong.hazel:that's damn silly, how in the world can that happen?jon:do u believe in the big bang theory? we were all made by the crashing of some carbons in space, so, if some how my ashes which are carbon, crash as well to form some sort of life, i'd grow again.hazel:i can't believe you thought of thatjon:but fuck, i'd be an eagle named dubecco. now that aint right.too much science isnt exactly a good thing considering my industry is almost about saturated with them china migrants who failed my attachment and hence the production of a nonsense scientist like me who'd think of putting my ashes into a petridish with media that is normally used to grow sheets of mouse brain cells, and expect a brand new me to appear again.
forza
turn, smile, shift, repeat
kimwipes
