hail the champions of europe
this thursday morning saw me waking up at 5:55am, which meant i missed the champion league final with liverpool taking on the underdogs ac milan.
truth be told, my heart was aching with fear as i thought the club would cull me for missing out on such an occasion, because of sleep, which i needed much of. but as reality shows, they're miles away from where my bed is, and ancelotti would be far more concern with his trophy and medal than my absense from my already broken samsung television set.
but i immediately turned on my computer with a sense of euphoria, knowing, ac had already won. they have been the better side all season, and with italian flare, it's hard to not to take notice that they have the most experience players any club has so far in the whole of 2006/2007 season.
YES! they've won it! 2-1!
9-
FILIPPO INZAGHI, 33. Age and a succession of knee injuries have taken their toll on Inzaghi, who has been pushed down the pecking-order by Gilardino. Often mocked for his apparent lack of skill, and accused of being a diver, Inzaghi's phenomenal positional sense remains unimpaired as he showed when he broke Bayern Munich's offside trap to score in the second leg of their quarter-final.
hail the greats!
jonny, master of the laze
again, within the time span of 30 days, or 1 month, ive managed to fall into a rampage of running nose, soring throat, and a little body aches to go with it. i'd like to upsize it please. i'm sick again dammit.
but i'm glad that ive got someone to take care of me, even if it's just macaroni with a little bit of meat balls and fake crabsticks to go along, time spent was the cure. thank you.
i think i'm too emotional a person. i take everyone's comments or little passing motions as an opportunity to study and make it affect myself. but the fact is, i think, well some people think as well, that i put in too much effort of taking care of other people, that i tend to forget myself, hence i'm sick. bloody hell. but since when was that wrong.
i'm watching you!
megatonic
something to bring up my day, that is, my laptop that i have procrastinated much to get it repaired, is finally alive again. which means, i can start doing my reports and quit staring into the tv screen that's green in colour.
other than that. i think i have found
something really special. despite all the hardships and sulking, i still yearn for
it.and it's the matter of doing the things i like to do, and do the best i can, that i should be satisfied or happy, regardless of the outcome. because ultimately, i cannot make the world happy. no regrets.
peerc
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
timeout
eureka! jon, you've finally hit the spot.
the weekends didnt really make the mood any better, except for the fact, there was old changi airport for lunch after training.
nevertheless, i survived the weekend's unforgiving sun and heat along with saturday's headache after training which i dedicate solely to the sun, of which i had to endure through the full 120 mins of the onslaught of man u.
sunday could have been better, but the night was spent with 3 hrs of sleep, and the rest, of deep thought and multiple salvaging.
i should be dead. cause sleep depravation, and chronic depression are just the main ingredients for, like what mark said, a catastrophic meltdown.
i still love you
careful now, i'll kill for free
the bird cage is free from supervisors, and all that's left is us 4 attachment students with nothing better to do but to slouch on our seats and laugh at nonsensical unintented actions that we make.
i'm feeling down. yes. as i read from my past few entries, and put the past 2 weeks under a microscope, i'm not appreciating what i have, rather because, what i have is a 2 baht coin + 5cents sg that's in my coin pouch. if money makes me happy, id rather kill myself. rather, i'm still saddened that i'm being driven to edge, and i'm not being used with care. not that a really need care, but some appreciation could be endorsed.
not like i don't do anything about it. i mean, i do my part, with heart, with style, with all my bloody effort, but all i get is a hand demanding on the deadline. i dont exactly expect anything back in return, because i compromise my morals. i dont say anything, because i have a heart of stone. but because of the damn heat that has been circulating around singapore, i find my heart subliming and i'm beginning to question my worth. my worth to everyone.. i mean
EVERYONE.but whether or not you care, or not, it does not matter, cause no one really reads this trash (as you can see from the population of posts in the tagboard), unless you're a stalker or just a technorati freak. the fact of the matter is, i still have a heart, and i deserve some sympathy from even 1/100 of the people i've given my time to, because i'm only fucking human, i have emotions, and like i said, i have a heart.
thank you blogger. for letting me rant. i love you.
now that's an example.
raffles ate durian
i'm writing this post at end of this morning, only because, it's only 20mins left till i head for an event i look forward to everyday during attachment, lunch. but today's special, cause i'm dining for free.. cod fish and lamb, chicken and carbo. i'll be eating last night's left overs at home.
i have to lament over the fact that, yesterday's payday, but i havent gotten my damn cheque. so much for anticipation.
anyhow, i'm quite upset with myself. fact being, i'm never going to be enough for this world. i've spent so much time, making people around me happy, that when it comes to my wellbeing, i feel left aside. not saying that it never happened before. i mean, there are these few moments where i do feel accepted by friends. but boy, did it take a whole lot for me to be.
i looked back of my past when 'we were young, we were free', nothing really mattered, just having fun. even during my o levels, i still invested a few good hours during the weekends to take off studying and just going out for a little skating or even just catching up with my friends. life was carefree. but now, i feel i've grown too soon, too fast, at the wrong time. there are more things to think about, to the point it has become excessive. and i again, lament, these times, simply because, i'm not having as much fun as i did before.
this brings back moments after my olevels when i was in melbourne with nick and co., it was fun, pure fun, just the best of friends on a holiday, but as days go, people change, i feel i've been kicked out of a family, and it was merciless to the point, ive become quiet, ive become insane. i cannot deny i was hurt, and i cannot deny it hurt so bad that i've been scarred. it's to the point, tears do not say anything, but i'd rather just stone away and pretend it never happened. but the past continues to haunt me, because, it was childhood, and these days have all ended without a happy ending.
i wanna go back to melbourne. even if it's just me alone. i wanna get out of here
15th MAY
today's the 15th of may.
it can only mean one thing.
so important. so magnificant. a revolution to the month of may.
baby,
IT'S PAY DAY!
nahtanoj
i rekon my phone is cursed. cursed by that baby with wings who holds a bow and arrow. and i bet he hates me.. cause he shoots arrows of napalm.
how is it when we do something that feels so nice, can turn out so wrong.
i'm confused, cause as much as i want that feeling to come back, i hate it just as much to make it go away.
other than that. i'm constantly tired. and i'm starting to question my actions.
this is such a self centred post.. i feel disgusted.. I I I I I. what happened to the happy people?
compromise
Sometimes I was intransigent, and proud of it. At other times I seemed to myself to be nearly devoid of any character at all, timid, uncertain, without will.-- Edward W. Said,
Out of Place: A Memoir
return
the weather in singapore is horrendously humid and hot. even in the dead of the night, when the damn wind is suppose to breezing past, and i'd still be able to cover myself in a blanket. but, last night, was awful! i only got to sleep after 130 and i ended up being half naked. as if that wasnt enough, i had to cover myself in talcum, why!? because i still ended up being really sticky and so uncomfortable. hence, today. in this shithole office, i'm feeling terrible, and i want to sleep. it doesnt help that i have nothing to do! or rather, ill do something that takes up only 15 mins of my time, and the rest just goes into idling, and viewing people's friendster profile to get a kick out of it.
anyway, i'm gonna do something nice for someone today. it may be you! but you never know. just dont get your hopes up. cause you'll only be dissappointed.
nevertheless, i hope i make your day. even if it's already fulfilling.
mark and sherry, THANKS
"hee hee"
truth be told. i think alot. but when it comes to matters that are bad, i'd rather put them aside and let time do the healing. but still it leaves a scar that looks horrendous, and we cant help to go back to cut it again so it'll bleed and we can mend it up properly.
my point is, i hide my emotions, normally the sad ones so much, that once my bubble bursts, i have no where else to run but be drowned in it.
but then again, i'm so prone to being happy, that it takes very little to satisfy my sad soul.
i'm too sleepy for an office boy. and i thought 7-8 hrs of sleep was enough
i should be home right now
since saturday, bloody 345 in the morning i set myself on a voyage to the urban city, where pollution reigns the skys, and it's probably the only reason why i dont see any birds up there. bangkok. where the the angmohs are plenty and you've got to double check the gender of your date.
to keep it simple, i wasnt really looking forward to such and adventure. although most people, especially my female counterparts out there would beg to disagree. yeah the shopping and all. the cheap clothes and the mountains of shoes that would make emelda look like a shred of paper in a dictionary, but it isnt really my cup of tea when i'm going with a bunch of people i'd rather spend 5 mins sessions a time with. i mean, yeah, ive got to admit, i was excited when drey said she could go cause i might be able to spend the long weekend with her, and to add, i would feel a little more comfortable with my money, and that there would be cheery, non adulterated conversations to have. the people i go with are just too serious. =(. but that all deminished when her guardians disagreed at the last moment.
to add, ive been slugging it out down here with only so little spending money, i already feel guilty for everything. so those people who are recieving a little something from me u fucking better appreciate it, cause most of my funds into buying u guys stuff and i've only been able to collect 4 t-shirts and a pair of jeans. of which consists of only 30% of my budget. but then again, another reason why i should be home is that, i wouldnt have spent that kind of money in sg. why!? cause simply, i have enough nice clothes in the cupboard, and i dont need more. this is not retail therapy, its retail catastrophe. with all that money i spent here, i might as well use it to buy myself a bottle of beer and a nice 6 course dinner over there, and i'd still have some left for some arcade games later.
aside from that, emotionally, id rather have spent my labour day weekend with my friends. ive already had a holiday with my family in perth earlier this year. and most of the time in sg, i'm with them. i really think this is overkill. so to mark, aung, gerard, drey, db, viv, sher and whoever i always keep in contact, i really love you. gay shit.
fuck! i'm not gonna miss bangkok at all...
although, i did take some really cool pics.
