i'm hungry. are you?

stars

posted by jonathan @ 11:30 PM 0 Comments

i think i'm in a mess. big mess

i might have made a mistake, so huge, i think it might be beyond repair.
and all i have now, is pain to bear.
i wish it would all go away.
but i think i would need all the threads in the world to sow it back again.
i wish i wasnt me

i hope i dont wake up

posted by jonathan @ 3:27 AM 0 Comments

pain is temporary, beer is forever

because i think i'll be drinking alot more now.
alot more because i think it's the next painless thing to the gas chambers to kill myself.

i hope you're happier.

posted by jonathan @ 12:36 AM 0 Comments

i'm better off dead

posted by jonathan @ 11:51 PM 0 Comments

national geographic

posted by jonathan @ 4:36 AM 0 Comments

give me something to pass away

how can something that use to feel so good, so right accompanied with so much bliss and photographs, memories, good times and the bad, the smiles and the tears.

turn out to feel so wrong. so painful. something that would have changed the rest of my life?

i wouldnt know

i wouldnt know

posted by jonathan @ 5:13 PM 0 Comments

?

mark says:
i dont wanna hold u
Jung - pasdu tout says:
yeah
Jung - pasdu tout says:
u wont...
Jung - pasdu tout says:
it'll be gay
mark says:
absolutely yes
Jung - pasdu tout says:
ill make sure i slap u if u do
mark says:
lolol

posted by jonathan @ 11:28 PM 0 Comments

crying shame

it's amazing how a mere 6 months have had such an impact on my pitiful soul. and it's only when i start losing everything, that i realize how much i use to have.

i wouldnt say that i've taken all for granted, more of i took everything too seriously that i tend to forget the very roots of where it came from.

it's the sort of thing whereby the more seriously you put yourself into, the harder the hurt to feel when i lose it. and only until now i realize how painful it feels.

but my fellow viewers do not be deceived, yes maybe i am talking about drey, but it's not totally about this wonderful person.

i would consider this period of my life as a very shady and even so one of the darkest points in my life because i depended so much on things such as my grades, family, friends, dragonboat and drey so much that now they are slowly fading away, i don't really have much of a direction to head onto.

but i hope for support
because i know i cant do this alone.

drey, you were, and still is the most wonderful person i've known. i wish you well. i wish you were here.

posted by jonathan @ 10:40 PM 0 Comments

vote for minorities

with all that have been said, and not said.
i wish you would look me in the eye and tell me with all honesty
with nothing in the way
nothing to stop you
all the things that i need to know, i want to know
with the point that i will be hurt be hurt anyway
because reality ultimately rules all
with that being said
i hope you'll feel free

on a brighter note,
my grades were better than expected.
brooding was not worth it

posted by jonathan @ 3:24 PM 0 Comments

as you would have guessed

FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

posted by jonathan @ 4:07 PM 0 Comments

omega red

i guess i'll be better off alone.

i guess i'll never know why.

the happy people are all outside this four walls, i wish i could be with them.

posted by jonathan @ 11:24 PM 0 Comments

delicate

it's awfully sad how the way things turn out to be. i love her so much that it hurts for both of us.
but what is hurt? what is love? have we forgotten about our youth. have we forgotten that we are barely 20. what about love? how much do we know about it? i can only think so little because it's too much of a grey area.

but what i do know is that if love felt so good the last 7 months, i'd like to feel it again for a life time.

i love you audrey, that hasnt change. it hasnt change at all. i love you.

and though now things have changed and we're not together but still the best of friends, ill still be here for you whenever, wherever. so go on and be happy and i know you'll be.

even if it hurts so much. be free. i love you.

posted by jonathan @ 3:12 PM 0 Comments

london bridge

the london bridge came falling down
crashed so hard that even the king's horses and all the king's men
couldnt build it back up again.

i dont know what now to do

it hurts so much
so so much

i wish i could wake up again and feel everything is alright
but i can't even sleep
and truth be told, it's not going to be alright
because i'm only so small compared to the world out there

time passes so slowly now,
and it only drags the pain so much
it drags so long
help me

please help God.
please help me.

posted by jonathan @ 9:16 AM 1 Comments

information counter

i guess i've done the damage. and i've come undone. ask me a week ago how things were going, i'd say it was pretty fine. but i guess my insecurities have gotten the better of me. and i'd blame no one but myself.

i was blinded, to a point i did not know how much i've hurt someone. but how'd i wish this hurt would stop. how'd i wish instead of what I want, i'd take into consideration what she wants.

but i guess this is a very grey area to dwell onto. if compromise is the key factor in any relationship, i think the extent to which gives is equally important. but i ask for nothing in return. from now on. i know i have to change.

i'm sorry. and i've said it many times. i wont do buts and i wont do the past. for i know now, you have learnt and you are you.

my heart still sinks, because i'm scared. and i'm only scared about what the future has to hold for me. for i can only do my best now, to hope for the best and expect the worse. ultimately, the worse is not what i want.

and if there's one thing i learnt, which i know is somethng i should have learnt a long time ago, is to not chase what has already been done. even if it's to chase for the reason. because of this, again, i lost something very valuable in a short matter of time.

i'm a failure. and i know it. i can never live a day knowing that the next would be better only because i know it wouldnt. it's only because i lie to myself. and i lie so much to the point it becomes a natural false hope in me that it's alright.

i'd give support. i surely will. and i know i'll hit some bumps, and it might fall again. but i sure wish i will not hit that ultimate bump that will kill of everything. how i wish i had some support too. how i wish we could work something out. how i wish i was the person i was before. how i wish i could compromise. how i wish i could see beneath the cracks. how i wish i could pick myself up again. how i wish i could be slapped for all my wrong doings. how i wish i could be slapped for everything i have done.

posted by jonathan @ 2:48 AM 0 Comments

waiter

hi, can i have grilled chicken cajun burger with mash potatoes with brown sauce on the side without the potato bits. i'd like the the chicken not too cooked, sort of like a medium rare on a rib eye steak. please tell the chef also to trim out the fats of the the chicken but leave the skin still intact. and for the vege's i'd like to have the tomatoes without the seeds, and the lettuce in a symmetrical circular shape, with caesar dressing if you dont mind. and for the sesame seed buns, i'd like you to also tell the chef i dont want the seeds, so please do remove it. instead of butter on both buns, i'd like extra virgin olive oil. and please serve it out within 3 mins, although i know it's a full house in this 99 seated full resturant, i find myself to be quite full and i think i deserve it quicker than the rest due to my profound celebrity status that is self proclaimed by me.

if my order is not met, i'll leave this place for another eatery right across the road for the same order and ill send in a very bad review to the straits times due to my unpleasant experience. afterall, the customer is always right.

posted by jonathan @ 1:37 PM 0 Comments